Oh God

 So, my girlfriend is prego... We like to get kinky anyways. One night I was getting down on her and things were getting particularly saucy. I stuck my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out. So I turn on the lights. I'm like "What the fuck". It's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period. I look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering. I was flipping the fuck out. My mind was just saying "ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit". I rushed her into the car and sped all the way to the hospital while she's still bleeding everywhere. By the time we got there, she wasn't bleeding much more, but all the color in her face looked drained, colorless, almost transparent. She went into a vegetative state. The nurses stormed her into the emergency room, carried her to the nearest doctor and I explain everything. He took one look at her, then looked up at me and said "Sir, I'm sorry there's nothing we can do". I scream "WHY THE FUCK NOT?". He replied, "We don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"

my face when