Jokes

When I die, I want catnip to be planted over my grave. Then, all the stray cemetery cats will flock to my grave and rub all over it, and people will think I was some kind of cat god.

 If I had the power to have a shit ton of people raid and DDoS Fox News I would have them spam that Al Quada just the whole Israel

Am I the only one who, when swimming in the ocean, screams like a little girl "OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE" when my foot just touches a piece of seaweed?

Have you ever noticed people who go to the baby changing station always come back with the same baby?

Whenever I hear "Twister kills 25 people in the midwest today..." on the news. I always scream "THIS GAME HAS GONE TOO FAR" at the TV

I go to my grandma's house sometimes. She has a cat, and when I see the cat watching out the window, I sit next to it and say "Look Simba. Everything that the light touches is our kingdom". Then I break down crying from the nostalgia

I really believe World War III is coming, solely because humans love trilogies.

I love this picture